Nicknames – part 1

Last cricket season, you may have caught up with the 20/20 cricket matches either involving Australian state teams or the match between Australia and England. Every 20/20 team involved in Australia (except the English) have decided to put player nicknames on the back of their shirts. While some of the reasons behind the nicknames are obviously because of the name of the player, some of them aren’t so obvious to people who don’t know them.

So I thought I’d present a list of nicknames that either I’ve been called, I’ve called others or those that I have heard of that have an interesting story. And I’m sure that everyone knows someone who is exclusively known by their nickname and no one knows (or remembers) what their real name actually is!

Don’t worry if you don’t make this list, this list isn’t extensive!


I’ve been called some interesting nicknames over time, some are in common usage and others are used by selected people. When my mum named me, she thought she’d get smart and call me a name that can’t be shortened. Well, it has…..

Erk Started out as a family joke. When I was in year 5, I got sick of calling my (late) uncle Uncle so I called him Unk. So he replied “that’s OK, Erk” and from that day on, that has been a nickname for me. Some people only know me as Erk. I’ve also been called variations of it including Erka, Erko, Erky, Erkie, Erk the Jerk (don’t get that often, luckily!), Erkling, Erkster etc.

Kodak – Given to me by some members of my first Rural Fire Brigade due to always taking photos of stuff.

Big E – Well, my name starts with E and I’m big so a couple of people put the two together when I was in Guard’s School and I got “Big E” out of that. Mostly used by a few people in that school 5 years later. I’ve also used a Big E logo on my websites and business card ever since. (Also see Weaponette, below)

Stooge – Mainly started due to my (over)use of the word during (and after) the time of the SBS TV comedy “Pizza” where the term was often used. I still get called that today.

Eric Cartman – Well, my name is Eric and sometimes I do have a potty mouth just like the South Park character of the same name (and I’m also not fat, I’m big boned LOL). I used it a lot when I first got the interweb and used it as an online persona, especially in chat and stuff where I had to give a name but didn’t want (or really had to) to give my real last name. I also got called variations of it including Carty. I actually really like the name.

Citizen – One of my online persona’s was Citizen Erk, often shortened to Citizen. This was due to a newsgroup persona where I was trying to say that I am merely a citizen expressing an opinion as a citizen and not as a member of any organisation that I may (or may not) belong to.

Other People

Weaponette – As above, Weaponette is one person who still calls me Big E and she doesn’t like the Erk nickname. She was in my Guard’s School and we still bump into each other on the job from time to time and she still answers to Weaponette all those years later. It started during a discussion in Guard’s School where an instructor said “when you get out there, you are all my little weapons” and Weaponette says (well of course she didn’t have the nickname yet!) says “what about me, am I one of your weapons” and the instructor says “you are my Weaponette out there” and she answers to it ever since.

Sidewinder – Another name from Guards School but I can’t recall why we named him this. I’ll have to ask the Weaponette. I don’t think it was because of the missle of the same name.

Ned Flanders – This guy looks like the character of Ned Flanders in The Simpsons right down to the mo and the glasses. He is a really nice guy and ultra-well spoken pretty much like, well, Ned Flanders!

Opium – Slow working dope. I didn’t see him work much but people who did thought this nickname was relevant. I haven’t seen Opium (name often shortened by me to Opes) for years.

Gobbledok – With a surname like Crisp (as in Smiths Crisps), the nickname is a given, surely!

Sleepy – Supervisor who often fell asleep on the train on the way back to the office.

Boo Hoo – Ah me ol’ China Plate Boo Hoo. Spent many a shift having a laugh and a joke with him but also he could have a whinge a lot (must have been his English blood) or as I would say, he is having a Boo Hoo. So I called him Boo Hoo. As a result, he sometimes would call me “Woo Hoo” because I like Homer Simpson and I was always happy about something (and it rhymed with Boo Hoo). He still answers to this several years later as well on the rare occasion I see him.

Alphabet – You all must know someone with so many letters in their name that it looks like they have the alphabet for a name!

Itchy & Scratchy
– Husband and wife combo who continually were itching and scratching so of course being a Simpsons fan I called them I & S. Itchy is the woman, Scratchy is the bloke.

Shifter – I got told that the reason for this nickname was because the guy in question is a tool. He has a brother nicknamed Spanner, supposedly for similar reasons.

Rodney Rude – Careers Adviser at school who had an uncanny resemblance to the comedian of the same name. You could hear calls of “Rrrrrrrrooooddddneeeey” across the playground but I don’t know if the man himself ever got it.

Farva – Speaking of Rodney, my mate Rodney looks like Farva from the movie Super Troopers. The fact that they share the name of Rodney is a bonus.

Scooter – a former teacher of mine from Canada but I never heard why we called him Scooter. Maybe he had one or something.

B1 & B2 – Not children characters but two guys in the same workplace called Brian. Both Brians started at the same time so one wasn’t more senior than the other. B1 and B2 decided who would be B1 and who would be B2.

Phildo – Phildo rhymes with dildo but I can’t quite recall while Phil copped Phildo.

Coiny – one night he bent over at a pub and a chick put some coins into his “coin slot” and it took him about 20 minutes to discover the coins!


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