Things I Don’t Understand


When you choke a smurf what color does it turn?

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

I thought I’d start a list of my own but this list is more about things that I don’t understand. I’m not talking about stuff that I either don’t know about (some people would say that means there will be no questions about girls then!), care about or have no interest in such as the migrational habits of a drop bear. I am talking about stuff that I see on a day to day basis.

This non-exhaustive list is in no order. And if something is on the list, it isn’t because I’m automatically against it or I don’t want you to do it or that I haven’t done it myself, it is merely because I don’t understand about it or why someone would do that.

Anyhoo, let’s go. If anyone has an answer about anything, please let me know.

* Why was the “Never Ending Story” called that? And if the story didn’t end, why was there a “Never Ending Story 2” as well?

* Strapless tops on girls. What holds it up and prevents the top from coming down?

* Why do some school uniforms these days look like that the wearer could be working in a bank?

* Why do some people cover their back car windows with stuff like “Bad Bitch” or “Bad Boy”?

* What’s the deal with teenage girls wearing “Playboy” stuff?

* Why do some people invent really posho sounding job titles for themselves?

* Why do people wear clothes that will highlight something about them (cleavage is a good example) and then if you have a look, they (sometimes) get upset?

* What would the porn industry be without lesbians or women pretending to be lesbians?

* Why do crooks have to be read their rights every time they get arrested? Don’t they know them already?

* Why in Jackie Chan type movies do the bad guys circle him and just one person at a time tries to punch on instead of a simple gang attack?

* Why have I never seen people on a train raving naked near the guard with a blue light despite some stickers being changed to read “At night, travel close to the guard naked with a blue light”?

* Why do many people only seemingly take a laptop on the train only to play Solitaire?

* Why do boy bands consist of 5 people who aren’t boys?

* Why do people charge so much in relation to anything to do with a wedding?

* When a computer says “to begin, press any key”, where is the ANY key?

* Why do people queue for ages to get into a nightclub and seemingly not care but if you are in a bank queue for 2.5 milliseconds, people whinge?

* Would newspapers who only feature good news be popular?

* Why do people go “oooohhhh” and “aaahhhhh” when watching fireworks?

* Why do service station cashiers ask you if you have to pay for fuel when you have walked in off the street? Don’t forget, they have to turn the pump on for the fuel to go into your car.

* Are there pole dancing clubs for girls?

* If the Melbourne Cup is the horse race that stops the nation, wouldn’t that mean that the race itself wouldn’t run because the horses and jockeys would be stopped as well?

* Speaking of horse racing, why do the jockeys have to be so small and light? And if they have to be so small and light, how come there aren’t more women jockeys if women are often smaller and lighter than guys?

* When it comes to greyhound racing, what happens if the greyhound caught the hare?

* Speaking of animals catching other animals, why didn’t Wile E Coyote just go and buy some food instead wasting all that money with various Acme products while trying to catch the Road Runner?

* WhY dO tEeNaGe gIrLs wRITe LiKe tHiS?

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